We asked Kathryn, a current Saint Louis Sudbury School parent the following question:
Going back in time... why did you start thinking about enrolling your children in an unconventional school like Saint Louis Sudbury School? Read what she said!
Some parents discuss schooling, birthing, and family philosophies long before they even begin raising children. Then there’s us.
When I became pregnant with our first child, I shared my vision of birth—hugging a tree, squatting into a gently flowing stream, swaying to ‘90s R&B. My husband, Nathan, imagined a hospital environment with countless medical professionals directing the party. Yikes. Two very different pictures! (That’s a story for another day, I suppose.)
Before our kids reached "school age," I remember saying to Nathan, who comes from a family of conventional school professionals, “Traditional school environments will be hard for me.” The idea that school is just what you have to do—so you can eventually do what you’re supposed to do—never sat well with me. Performing at and tolerating school and, later, performing at and tolerating work? That felt like a deeply uninspiring (and untrue) way to approach learning and life.
At the time, I wasn’t aware of just how many options existed for education. Before we dipped our toes into conventional schooling, I assumed there were three choices: homeschooling (I adore my kids, but I don’t want to be with anyone 24/7...), public school, or private school. I think many families find themselves there - unsure of what options they have. And the struggles with conventional schooling are so normalized, that it can be difficult to ask these questions in the first place.
As our children began their school journey, I wrestled with the disconnect between loving learning and being good at school, between critical thinking and compliance, between curiosity and forced knowledge retention.
Our kids “did fine” in school. (Side note: I don’t aspire to fine for them.) They performed, complied, and behaved. Then they came home—especially our oldest—frustrated by the lack of choice, the feeling of mistrust, and the general sense of disrespect (unconsciously) woven into their school day. Those frequent after-school conversations (venting sessions, at first) sparked some questions for our family: What is an ideal learning environment? Why can't we enjoy schooling and working now, as opposed to waiting until retirement to love life? How can we be more intentional?
A few months (and spreadsheets—we’re engineers, after all) later, we had a realization: brilliant minds had probably already created the kind of learning community we were imagining. With just a little curiosity and research, we discovered Self-Directed Education. The Sudbury Model and Agile Learning Centers (ALC) immediately grabbed my attention, and so our journey into alternative education began.
By the spring of 2022, we were intentionally seeking out what I called "inspirational schools”. We read books, blogs, and research. We requested pamphlets. We scoured the internet for active communities across the U.S. (I couldn't quite convince Nathan to move abroad). Then, in the winter of ’22/’23, we set out to visit Sudbury Valley School, Fairhaven School, The Circle School, and Saint Louis Sudbury School.
Each of these schools was unique, but they shared something powerful: they left us feeling respected, curious, and inspired. They gave us hope—hope that our children could hold onto their innate love of learning and grow in an environment that truly honored their humanity.
